L'EMPIRE (THE EMPIRE)
An incomprehensible Gallic comedy without a single joke that lands L’Empire cringingly blends sci-fi spoofs and social realism into a...
top of page
FILM REVIEWS
- Apr 7
DRIVE-AWAY DOLLS
Drive-Away Dolls is one of the oddest genre mash-ups I have ever seen: a barely watchable, unpleasant mix between an uninspired crime...
- Feb 3
ARGYLLE
Odds are you will not see a more stupid, derivative, tiresome and plainly bad movie this year than Argylle, which has to be right up...
- Jan 17
LE LIVRE DES SOLUTIONS
The only problem the unwieldy new Michel Gondry film Le Livre des Solutions is likely to solve is chronic insomnia as its disjointed,...
- Nov 4, 2023
WHEN IT MELTS (HET SMELT)
Building up excruciatingly long to a pivotal scene you see coming a mile off, Flemish literary adaptation When It Melts is as predictable...
- Sep 29, 2023
COUP DE CHANCE
If Coup de Chance does indeed turn out to be Woody Allen’s final movie – as is mooted – then the quality of his first French-language...
- Aug 16, 2023
MEG 2: THE TRENCH
You have bad movies. You have inept movies. And then there is this god-awful sequel, which doesn't try to tell a coherent story or make...
- Jun 21, 2023
PEARL
Pearl looks like an uninspired aftertought to cult horror hit X, feels cobbled together on a rushed whim and should preferably be treated...
- Jun 17, 2023
ASTEROID CITY
Wes Anderson takes his idiosyncrasies more than one step too far in Asteroid City, to the point of self-parody you might say, beit one...
- May 18, 2023
FAST X
Even for those who have so far tolerated the franchise’s ever dumber plots and increasingly nonsensical set-pieces the downright stupid...
- Mar 14, 2023
65
It’s enraging that someone somehow greenlit 65, a film devoid of plot, characters, drama or any ascertainable point, that makes 90...
- Feb 19, 2023
MAGIC MIKE'S LAST DANCE
It would take too long to list everything that’s wrong with the unwatchable Magic Mike’s Last Dance, but a total lack of narrative is the...
- Feb 10, 2023
THE CHAPEL
Flemish film The Chapel is a damp squib because the screenplay would embarrass a first-year film student, let alone a helmer who once was...
- Nov 9, 2022
H4Z4RD
Every attempt at comedy misses the mark, the editing lacks a pulse and the acting is annoying across the board during 90 stupendously...
- Oct 20, 2022
PETER VON KANT
If the narrative doesn't stop you from engaging with the film, the visual style will certainly do the trick: Peter von Kant is detached...
- Oct 19, 2022
HALLOWEEN ENDS
The movie builds up to a climax that deprives the audience of what the trailers have promised: a rewarding final confrontation with...
- Oct 5, 2022
SMILE
The acting looks like improv night at the Grand Guignol, the jump-scares turn the volume up to eleven and the final act is woefully bland...
- Jul 25, 2022
THE GRAY MAN
The Gray Man is one of the most tedious, predictable, irrelevant movies I have ever seen in my life: it will put you firmly into a coma....
- Apr 9, 2022
MORBIUS
Jared Leto’s umpteenth obnoxious transformation is the least of the problems of this excessively boring origin story. Sony takes yet...
- Feb 14, 2022
BIGBUG
Pinpointing where exactly Bigbug goes wrong would take ages, as this futuristic would-be satire is unforgettable for all the wrong...
bottom of page