65

It’s enraging that someone somehow greenlit 65, a film devoid of plot, characters, drama or any ascertainable point, that makes 90 minutes feel like 90 years.

Going into 65 I didn't expect a film that would give Citizen Kane a run for its money. I did hope for a fun, no-brainer prehistoric adventure film. What I never fathomed to see however was a picture so inept it appears to have been made by people who have never seen a movie in their lives.

Mind-boggingly 65 springs from the minds of the writers who had such huge success with A Quiet Place but here they drop the ball spectacularly. From the film's ponderous opening to a succession of tension-free, amateurishly shot set-pieces and a denouement that goes nowhere, 65 is awful from the first minute to the last.

Whatever possessed Adam Driver to take on the lead role is beyond me. The actor sleepwalks through the part, not helped by the fact that his stranded extra-terrestrial pilot hasn't got a single interesting character trait. His woefully underdeveloped, often annoying interaction with Ariana Greenblatt, a young orphan stranded with him, doesn't do the film any favours either.

There are more things in 65 that single the film out as an early contender for all the main Razzies next year. Bad CGI dinosaurs, laughable rescue scenes and scattershot editing all underline the total lack of plot and drama.

So instead of going to see 65, I'd suggest you drink paint, drive your car into a wall or pull out your toenails one by one. All of those are much more pleasurable experiences than any given minute in 65.

release: 2023

director: Scott Beck, Brian Woods

starring: Adam Driver, Ariana Greenblatt